A writer in love.
"All stories begin somewhere."
There was once a boy. He lived his day-to-day life with quiet innocence, gentle curiosity, and passionate energy. He always showed love in the most raw and deepest way imaginable. Unconditional to a fault. Growing up, he would oftentimes find himself alone. His father had left the family when he was almost too young to remember, and his mother was burdened with constant work. He quickly learned to acclimate to the solitude he had been left in. His imagination took the forefront of his existence and it became ever more expansive as time passed.
For a while, he found great joy in sharing his thoughts and feelings with others around him. Some would welcome his ideas openly, praising him for his imagination. But noticed that others would pull away, some completely vanishing from his life altogether. One day at school, turning a corner, he had come across a group of people he considered to be his friends having a conversation about him; one after another they would laugh and gossip cruelly; saying that people in his life only stayed out of pity, how he is weak and gullible for being too caring and trusting, making crass assumptions as to why his father had left the family, and that his thoughts and ideas were stupid.
This was the first time he had questioned his worth...
Feeling heartbroken, misunderstood, and completely alone, he found himself withdrawing from the connections around him. He had begun to hide from the real world, accepting loneliness as second nature. To fill the void, he continued manifesting his own adventures and world within his mind. A world where he could feel like he belonged without a doubt.
As a teen, he quickly learned he had an affinity for writing. Coming to the realization that the pen and paper would never judge him as people had done to him in the past. He was compelled to weave stories intertwined with all of his deepest thoughts, feelings, desires, and truths. Even if no one would ever read them, he felt fulfillment and peace in creating them.
As he grew into adulthood, he couldn’t help but continue to live life with his heart on his sleeve. Outside influences would often take advantage of his kindness, coming into his life when they had seen him thriving successfully and leaving when things became difficult. Even with the inconsistencies of the people and situations that would come and go in his life, he remained resilient and continued to cope quietly by diving into his writing.
Then abruptly, he came into a friendship with a man. He felt a deep sense of trust he had not felt in anyone else up until this point. The friendship quickly blossomed into a relationship. The connection took him by surprise. It was refreshing. Before he knew it, he had been swept away completely and felt that he had fallen in love for the first time. He poured into the relationship giving it all of his trust, undying loyalty, and unconditional love. For a time, it seemed that things couldn’t be better. Then out of the blue, as abruptly as the relationship may have started, it would come to a bitter close. Without an explanation, not even a single word, his partner had left him for another person. Without remorse, he was left out in the cold. And without a single friend to turn to, he suffered alone.
He had been hurt in the past, but this sensation he felt was unique. The betrayal had shattered his foundations, his heart, and his mind. He instantly blamed himself, questioning every aspect of his personality, his upbringing, and his entire life. A gamut of emotions flooded over him. As he looped through the emotions, he identified anger within himself for the first time. He was reminded of each instance where someone had taken advantage of him. Each time people assumed the worst of him. Each time they would laugh at him around a corner. Frustrated and mad at himself and more so the world, he lashed out and began saying things that made him feel like a completely different person. Then, catching a glimpse into a mirror, he saw the reflection of someone unrecognizable. Someone coming dangerously close to realizing pure hatred. It was in that instant, he felt something within the pieces of his shattered heart rebelling. This wasn't who he was. The tears began to fall as his soul refused to accept becoming the person filled with unextinguishable anger that he saw in the mirror. So, with no one to turn to, he was instead forced to look within himself. He cried out for hours. Giving into anguish, he allowed himself to accept each negative feeling, then let them go one by one until he had released everything. In doing so, only the best parts of himself remained; the kindness, the truth, and the unconditional love. By letting go of the anger and doubt, he had inadvertently learned to love himself. He had saved himself. A sense of calm had reentered his life. He was grateful. He had chosen to forgive, but never forget. Choosing peace and continuing in silence. He would pen the words of what he had experienced, without the intention of anyone ever learning the truth.
He was forever changed, knowing that nothing would be the same as it was in the past. He would hold onto a portion of the pain as a reminder of what people are capable of. Accepting that there had been substantial damage to his confidence and his heart, he became guarded, finding himself thinking twice about letting people in or sharing his true thoughts and emotions with others. His truth would remain hidden in plain sight, woven within the facts and fantasies of his stories, poems, and other writings.
He made the decision to move away to a new city in hopes of starting over in life…
—and time once again had passed…
In the beginning, people didn’t know much about him other than he has always been a writer. He spent countless hours and days pouring his heart and soul into every word he wrote. But there was something different about his latest work, something that made it feel more personal than anything he had ever written before. The words flowed effortlessly from his pen as he chronicled short stories featuring a man named Brandon.
—A series he would eventually come to call, “Hey, Brandon.”
Each story would cover a series of challenges and issues that many others could identify intimately with as well as matters of the heart. And with each story he wrote, he had once again felt something that he had not experienced in a long time. He felt himself falling deeper and deeper in love with the character he had created.
But there was a rather unique detail. Brandon wasn't just a character in his book. No, Brandon was in fact a real person and one that he had come to love in ways he couldn't explain. He had met Brandon in real life a few years ago, and from the moment they had spoken, he had been smitten.
Out of all of the people who had come and gone since starting his new life, he realized that Brandon had always remained a constant. Over the years, off and on, he found that Brandon would be there for him as a friend not only in mundane times but also often appeared when he needed him most. At times when life seemed dark and the challenges seemed the most difficult to handle. And with every moment of kindness, with each simple gesture, his affection for this man would grow. He had been unaware of the fact that with each interaction, his once-broken heart was slowly being pieced back together. And after years of being guarded and suppressing his feelings, he had finally given in to the realization that he had in fact been in love with Brandon from the start.
But he felt that he couldn't reveal his true feelings to Brandon. He was afraid that it would ruin their friendship, or worse, make Brandon uncomfortable and withdraw entirely from the connection. So he continued to write, pouring all of his emotions onto the page and keeping them hidden from the world. Every night, he sat alone in his apartment, scribbling furiously in his notebook as he imagined a life with Brandon. He wrote them from the viewpoint of a fantasy. A mixing of facts and fiction inspired by their conversations, their adventures, and the way Brandon's eyes lit up like the stars in the night sky when he talked about his passions.
But even as he wrote, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was living a lie. All of the time he spent meticulously hiding his emotions he had become a weight on his soul. He was so consumed with his love for Brandon that he couldn't focus on anything else. His work became stagnant, his friendships suffered, and he felt more alone than ever before.
For a long time, the pains of his past had instilled a deep fear that had prevented him from telling Brandon how he felt. And in a moment of desperation, an idea had come to him. He would let Brandon learn about and read what he had written. Every single story and message that he never had the courage to share. He would become completely transparent and place his heart on the line. So he created an online blog, compiling all of the short stories, poems, and other personal entries detailing his feelings that were inspired by the man he had come to love. And once it was complete, he texted the link to him…
No reply came. For weeks there was only the cold chill of silence. A feeling of regret had washed over him, and nightly he would feel the pain of the mistake that he believed he had made. He felt that his worst fears had come to fruition, that he chased away the very person he loved and who inspired him the most. He had broken his own heart. He tortured himself going over and over in his head what he could say or do to fix what he had done. Where he was once able to pour his heart and soul out onto the page, he now only felt a profound lack and emptiness.
Then one night, as he sat at his desk staring at a blank page, he heard a knock at the door. At first, he thought to ignore it. But a strange feeling was tugging at him to answer. He pulled himself from his desk, made his way to the door, and opened it…
It was Brandon, standing there with a shy smile on his face. "Hey, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by," Brandon said. "Is everything okay?"
Time stood still. His heart raced as he looked into the eyes of the man he had been secretly writing about for months. All this time had passed and he never once thought about what he would do or say in this situation. He didn't know what to say or how to act, but before he could think, the words came tumbling out.
"—I’m in love with you, Brandon," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "I've been writing about you every night, and I can't stop thinking about you. I know it's crazy, but I had to tell you…"
For a moment, there was silence. Brandon looked at him, and he felt his heart sink.
But then, without warning, Brandon took a step forward and pulled him into a tight embrace. “I know,” Brandon said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I read through your blog, every word, and it took me some time to process all of it. You should have just told me.”
He pushed out a whisper “I’m sorry for the way…”
Brandon tightened the embrace, halting the attempt at apology. "—I love you too,"
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. The man he had been writing about every night for months, the man he had fallen in love with, felt the same way about him. They held tightly onto each other as they continued talking long into the night, sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings with one another. A lifetime of pain and doubt quickly melted away. It was a new beginning, a wish fulfillment for both of them filled with unconditional love that they both had long deserved.
From that moment on, his life's story felt completely changed. He no longer felt alone. He and Brandon began seeing each other more often, and he felt a newfound sense of happiness and fulfillment that he never imagined would happen again. Their love would continue to blossom and flourish even stronger over time. And Brandon would eventually begin walking with an engagement ring tucked deeply in his pocket, awaiting the perfect time to present it to the love of his life. But that is a story meant to be told at another time.
The writer continued to develop the "Hey, Brandon." short story series and even decided to publish it for the entire world to see, but now instead of being just a fantasy, he wrote confidently about their love, and about the way their hearts beat as one.
And though he had once felt like he had to hide his feelings, he learned that the only way to truly be happy was, to be honest about who he was and what he felt regardless of consequences. Long ago, a man named Brandon inadvertently started the process of helping a lonely writer to heal, but the writer taking the chance to express his truth and his love is what mended his heart and soul to completion.
People didn’t know much about him other than he has always been a writer. But now, the world knew him as a writer in love.
He would live for that happy moment each time their eyes met and he could say,
“Hey, Brandon. I love you.”